Jeff

Jeff and Aaron at PET Scan consultation

I have loved reading the stories sent in about Aaron.  People sharing memories of Aaron’s youth often say that they can’t talk about Aaron without talking about Jeff.  It seems that Aaron’s name back then was ‘JeffandAaron’.  These brothers were inseparable.  They grew up very close and always watched each other’s backs.  They had the same friends, played on the same teams in every sport, and were constantly together.  You never saw one without the other. 

They always got along well, even as little boys.  I don’t remember them fighting.  Maybe that is because Jeff could talk Aaron into or out of anything.  Aaron got a nice basketball for his 5^th birthday but he only owned it for a few minutes before he had traded it to Jeff for a pack of gum.  Jeff had convinced him that it was a great deal.  Aaron hung on Jeff’s every word.  You could never get after one without the other fiercely defending his brother. 

When Jeff left on his mission, Aaron was more than lonely.  When he was preparing to leave for Florida and his first spring training, I remember asking Aaron if he wasn’t just a little sad to be leaving home.  I remember his reply, “Mom, since Jeff has gone, I really can’t stand to be here anymore.  Everything reminds me of Jeff, and  that makes home painful.  I just miss him too much.”

One of the heartwarming things for Dave and I about this whole journey with Aaron’s cancer has been watching Jeff.  When all of us were devastated with the diagnosis, and hardly able to think about what to do next, Jeff just went to work. 

Jeff and Amy’s son Stockton, was diagnosed with Leukemia last year so Jeff has been studying cancer and learning all he could to help Stockton.  That study has widened with Aaron’s lung cancer diagnosis.  People have asked us if Jeff is a doctor.  He sounds like one.  He can talk with any of them using their terminology.  He has developed  knowledge of procedures and medications and can tell you just about anything you want to know or don’t want to know about this cancer. 

When Aaron first got sick, before any diagnosis, Jeff took one look at him and called us to say he was sure Aaron had cancer, “I’ve seen so many cancer patients over the last year, I know the look of cancer!”  The Doctors at that time, didn’t think that was Aaron’s problem, but Jeff was right. 

By the time of the diagnosis, Aaron was in very bad shape and Jeff knew that time was of the essence.  He began to study everything he could find about Aaron’s particular cancer.  There isn’t much hopeful news about Aaron’s cancer and I’m sure it was a very hard and depressing thing for Jeff to learn about, but he persisted.   Not only did he know what would be coming next as far as the symptoms Aaron would be developing, but he familiarized himself with every treatment option that there is and also every new study in process at this time.  He knew every drug and their rate of effectiveness and knew just what to ask the doctors.

Because of this Aaron and Lorraine wanted him to accompany them to every doctor’s appointment.  Aaron was too sick to talk and ask questions, but Jeff seemed strong and was fighting.  He knew what questions to ask.   It was wonderful to have him in their corner. Like Lorraine said, “He did what we couldn’t do for ourselves.”

He spent days on the telephone calling about insurance.  He tried to get the Huntsman Center to accept Aaron’s insurance trying every avenue to get it accepted but to no avail, so he called every hospital in the state that would take Aaron’s insurance to try to move up the testing that was scheduled.  Every day was vital. 

He took time off work and went days without much sleep trying to help his brother.  And when things looked bleak he would tell us that miracles were possible and seemed to be on their way.  And we believed Jeff, because he seemed to know, and it is not his nature to whitewash anything. 

One night in his weak voice Aaron said to me, “Jeff is fighting for my life.  He is doing everything he possibly can to give me a chance.  He has done this all my life.  He went to bat for me when I was trying to get into the Master’s Program at BYU, and at other times in my life.  He has always been there for me.”

So many kind things have been done for Aaron and Lorraine, our hearts have been touched by everything, and everyone, who has given service, shown love, offered kind words and memories, and helped us face this sudden change in life in any way.  But watching Jeff has been especially moving for us.  He has demonstrated what good big brother’s do. 

We all have an older brother who is our advocate, who helps us through difficult things and is there for us always.  Jeff is a big brother cut from that same cloth.  Never has a mortal brother fought harder for his brother’s life.

Thank you Jeff.

Mom